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This column appeared on PrettyWitty.com in 2004
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The 10 Things You Do That Make You A....... DUMB PARENT!

By Jason Dinant 2004

 

 

            Ok so what makes me an expert on dumb parents? I have worked in schools and student programs for over 5 years and have seen many dumb parents in my day. You see these people with children and you ask yourself, “You have to have a license to drive a car, but they’ll let anybody have a child?”  These are my top 10 stories that for sure made these people dumb parents. It was hard trying to narrow it down to ten, trust me but I have and here goes.

 

10. “I don’t know how my son got that large cut on his arm,” stated one mother. “I only let him cut a piece of German chocolate cake by himself while I was in the other room.” Oh by the way he is in 1st grade.

 

Dumb parent #10 did you ever think it was the large knife you gave him to cut the cake with? Oh that could be it!

 

9.” Why does my son keep wetting himself in school? I know I still pack a change of clothes for him. Do you think he is doing it for attention?” Oh by the way he is a 3rd grader.

 

Dumb parent #9 did you ever think that you are creating the problem? He keeps doing this because you have trained him so well. Stop packing him a change of clothes and he’ll stop.

 

8. One day while going out for playtime a student came to me and said I can’t be out here! I just can’t! I don’t have my sunglasses today and mommy told me that the sun was very, very, very bad for my eyes and that I can’t go out without them on. A tantrum and a half later the little girl realized she had been outside all playtime and she was fine. She never asked for her glasses again.

 

Dumb parent #8 Please inform your daughter she will survive in the sun. She is not albino and will not have an allergic reaction to it. You created her paranoia of the sun. Thanks, it was fun hearing her scream for an hour, I just regained hearing in my left ear.

 

7. Open House, talking with a parent, she states she can only stay a few minutes because she has family coming in from out of town. She has dinner plans with them and her husband in a half hour. Two hours later while we are cleaning up the open house her and her son are still there. Why? Her son threw a fit and demanded he play with his friends.

Dumb parent #7 did you ever think you're teaching your second grader the wrong behavior? You wonder why he has behavioral issues at school and does not listen to teachers. Wake up - children learn from the best! (By the way they missed dinner and did not see there out of town visitors that weekend either because mom let son run the show.)

6. “That's not for boys!” One day I overheard a parent and student discussing a book order. The student wanted a certain book, the mother's response was, "that's not for boys, you can't have that one."

Dumb parent #6 It's a book! Your son is showing interest in reading; get him the book. People are too sensitive about boy-girl things. Get over it, since when are books for boys or girls? And you wonder why we have an increasing illiteracy rate.

5. I had a student I was tutoring who continually sucked her thumb. I talked with her mother about it and she stated it was just a phase and not a big deal. "Just a stage she is going through, please don't bring it up to her."

Dumb parent #5 Wake up! Your daughter is in the 5th grade. This is a stage at age 2 or 3 not 10 or 11. When she gets older she will thank you for her ailing social life as she sucks her thumb at a bar trying to get a date.

4. I overheard a mother come into a classroom and call a teacher a bitch in front of some students. I was shocked and deeply concerned for the students and teacher who witnessed this parent’s irate and out of place comments. The next day her daughter swore in class and was sent to the principal’s office. The mother comes in madder than hell at her daughter and tells her she will be grounded for a month.

Dumb parent #4 She learns from the best - YOU! Instead of grounding her you should ground yourself for teaching her such bad behavior. I think you need to have a long talk with your daughter and repeat these words, "I am a dumb parent!"

3. While working at a summer day camp I had a camper who was albino. One day his mother brought him to the camp and had forgotten his hat and sunscreen. She told me it was ok for him to go outside and play and not to worry. Meanwhile he has severe reaction to long-term exposure to the sun.

 

Dumb parent #4 This will be the only time I ever refer one dump parent to use another dump parents tactics. Here goes: please refer to dump parent #8 and learn from her, your son needs to be like her daughter!

 

2. I mentored a student who was deaf and her mother was against teaching her sign language. She was so adamant that her daughter would learn to hear faster than learn sign language.

 

Dumb parent #2 It is ok to be deaf and sign language will help you communicate with your daughter. Maybe you’ll save your voice. Hint: stop yelling she can’t hear you. This one made me mad, I mean come on parents help your children out. By the way I taught the student sign language!

 

1. Here is the best of the best dump parent. One day after school a mother picked up her son from school and they headed out of the classroom. A few minutes later the mother returned to grab something she had forgotten. It was then she went into a frantic, her son was no longer with her. We searched the school and set the missing child alert into affect. It was not until 20 minutes had passed that the mother remembered she had placed him in the car before she had returned into the school.

 

Dumb parent #1 You can’t keep track of things you left in the classroom let alone your son. That is scary, next time remember where you place things.

 

So that is the list of the 10 Things People Do That Make Them (in my opinion).... Dumb Parents.

 

Come back next month for The 10 Things People Do That Make Me An Irate Driver!

(This column is part of the “10 Things you Do” series which is copyrighted, Jason Dinant 2004 and can not be used in part or whole without the written permission of Jason Dinant. For permission to re-print this column please contact Rights@JasonWriter.com)